Things I used to forget before I had a place to write them down...etc.

From Et cetera

<DynamicCategoryMap>

I recently had an encounter with a ham and pineapple pizza that got me thinking. Myself, with the help of several other acquaintances, had done our best to demolish 4 big pizzas in a local Pizza Hut restaurant. Naturally, we had ordered far too much and therefore had to box some up in the end. I brought it home later that evening. Much later that evening. During the intervening time, the pizza sat in the backseat of a car being exposed to ultraviolet radiation, dust mites, car seat disease and who knows how many other as-yet-undiscovered weapons of gross. Nevertheless, there it sat.

Eventually, it had found its way into my happy apartment building along with a backpack and several other items I had brought with me for the day's adventure across town. Somewhere amongst all the confusion of putting my belongings back where they should be, I failed to deposit the already cancerous Italian cuisine into the refrigerator and as a result it was left on the floor all night as I slept peacefully. Surely the pizza was scared and lonely just sitting on the ground all night being exposed to dirt, spiders, mice, cats, lions, goats and who knows how many other as-yet-undiscovered giant carnivorous rodents of the night.

This morning I had that pizza for breakfast. It seems to be unharmed and it tastes more or less exactly the same as the properly refrigerated pizza that most people have. This leads me to believe that either A) pizza is a non-perishable food item composed solely of perishable ingredients and no matter what you do to it, it will always taste the same, or B) it's not and I'm wrong. The idea of non-perishable pizza seems to naturally get me thinking about things like canned pizza and "just add water" pizza. Guaranteed to keep your meal fresh for life.

Furthermore, if pizza is so invincible to the forces that be, then it surely must have more uses than just a scrumptious comestible for us. For example, you could use it as ammunition in bloody battles overseas. Plus it doubles as a food source for all the starving repressed peoples that those soldiers seem to work so hard to set free. Or perhaps we could build things out of pizza. Vast skyscrapers created by an intricate masonry of tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese. Gigantic leaning towers of pizza filled with offices and law firms of hungry men and women who feel no need to pack a lunch everyday for work because they can just take a big bite out of the photocopier whenever they want and their stomachs will be satisfied once again.

This is a world I dream of. A world of indestructible pizza. But that's only the beginning. Think of the innovations that could be had if we used potato chips for storing digital data and pineapples as hiking boots. I know what you're thinking...he's nuts, he's one card short of a full deck. How do I know this? I'm psychic!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!

</DynamicCategoryMap>