Things I used to forget before I had a place to write them down...etc.

From Et cetera

I don't know how many males have ever spent any length of time shopping for female deodorant, but I assure you it can be quite a wake-up call in terms of the variety of commercial products available on the market today. Oddly enough, they actually manufacture a peach-scented deodorant as well as a variety of other fruity flavours. Almost as though we are meant to eat the stuff rather than apply it to our underarms. This drew my attention to lip balm. Have you noticed the extreme fascination with lip balm in teen culture these days? I remember in one of my classes in high school, there was a quartet of classmates that sat directly in front of me that discussed lip balm on a regular basis. One of them owns and carries 20 different kinds of chapstick and they would spend half the class just passing around their cylindrical vials of pasty, scented lip moisturizer!

Then, get this, then while the females are fascinated by using different flavours and applying new scents at hourly intervals, the only male association with this crap is EATING IT!! Jesus Christ, don't your parents feed you!? Have you not the aplomb required to trouble someone for a jolly rancher? You don't eat lip balm, it's the most unwholesome violation of popular medical trends since the recreational use of rectal thermometers. So many flavours, too! Yeesh, if it does the trick who cares what it smells like. Your lips aren't supposed to smell like Strawberry Passion Fruit Guava, okay? "But I like that smell!" Yeah me too; do you also buy socks that reek of Mango Black Currant Citrus? Is it really so bad to have the seemingly malodorous stench of a person anymore? I'm not personally a big fan of cologne and perfume either, but when you start wearing lip moisturizer simply because it smells good, the game is over.

Besides, the most effective lip medication is not found in a pink heart-shaped container or a sparkling tube that plays "Do Your Ears Hang Low?" when you open the cap, and most people are aware of that. People do not buy this stuff for their lips, they buy it for their noses. Nose balm: what is that? In that respect, for girls at least, I suppose if you're purchasing lip balm for its aromatic properties, it's actually not a great deal different than purchasing incense for your bedroom. And for guys? Well, it's just like buying fruit snacks, except they're sold at the pharmacy. Perhaps Blistex Inc., should change its target customer base from people with dry lips to people with empty stomachs.

For those of you interested in actually moisturizing your dry mouths, may I suggest this medicated lip ointment, as it is what I have found to be the most effective product. Currently only available in the one flavour.