Things I used to forget before I had a place to write them down...etc.

From Et cetera

To me, coffee seems to have a similar reputation to alcohol amongst young people. I still remember my adolescent mindset very well and in some ways, I continue to think in that manner. You see, coffee tastes horrible to a young person. I can remember tasting coffee, wanting to like it because all my role models liked it, but being unable to drink it because it was just disgusting. Over time, I began to force myself to drink it, as I imagine everyone (using that word loosely here) does while growing up. Usually it would take about eight creams and seventeen sugars for me to enjoy a coffee while I was in high school and only very recently did I "learn" how to drink it black and enjoy it. Sometimes still, though, the taste of that bitter sludge I experienced in my youth rears its ugly head and I just can't finish a cup.

Now then, do you remember ever having a sip of beer when you were just a kid? Also gross. The bitter-sensitive taste buds are few and far between and don't exactly get a lot of use in infanct, which is probably why coffee and beer taste so repugnant to the average pre-teen school kid. Hard liquor was even worse. You couldn't put a drop of that crap on your tongue without throwing up and I was occasionally left puzzled as to why this bottle of 15-year Glenmorgan scotch whiskey wasn't sitting under the sink with all the other cleaning supplies.

Alcohol though, is not really something you have to force yourself to enjoy like coffee. You drink it because you're 15 years old (just like the scotch) and you want to get sloshed. It takes many many drunken nights and a whole lot of pretending before you begin to enjoy alcohol. You see, as a teenager, you want all your friends to think that you "only drink Big Rock beer" or "imported ale is the only way to go" or "I refuse to drink a rum and coke if it's not made with Appleton Estates Jamaican spiced rum and a sliver of lime mounted on the side of sugar-rimmed glass," when really, it's all the same to someone who is drinking to get plastered. In that respect, youth you drink regularly have a blood/alcohol/bullshit ratio of about 4:1:10.

Now, some people are smart and when they hit their early 20's and want to get drunk, they spend $4.00 on a six-pack of "Big Al's Good Time Lager" and save their money. Personally, I haven't clued into this yet and I'm still forking over the greens for expensive imports even when my ultimate objective is to pass out on some stranger's rugged bath mat. Alexander Keith is rolling in his grave, no doubt.

Moving to the appreciation of alcohol (roundabout way of getting there, but hey it's my page, I make the rules), yes, despite the years of regrettable facade you have to wade through, you do eventually learn the distinctions between good beer and bad beer, as well as the subtleties that separate the various other liquors from one another. Beer usually comes first since it is probably the easiest to drink (with the possible exception of wine, but I don't know enough about it to even pretend that I know what I'm talking about (besides, winos are savage creatures who would surely beat me down and torture me if I started spouting false wine appreciation information (sorry about the run-on sentence; like I said, though, I make the rules))). When you're young, or at least when I was young, there were really only two kinds of beer: beer and Guinness. But as you learn to appreciate beer, you also learn that there is a wide variety of types. I don't know anyone who can accurately depict the differences between them all in words, but the point is, there are differences and people notice them and appreciate them in different ways.

Harder liquors are even more interesting and trying to describe the qualities of a good scotch seems to speak to higher levels of human communication in my opinion. It is the only context in which I can use the words "woodlike" and "smoky" and actually have someone understand what it is I'm trying to say. This kind of common understanding without a thorough explanation is a very satisfying and simple way to talk to someone. Who knew that liquor could indirectly improve someone's communication skills? Can't say that about coffee, can you?

Crazy adults. Bottom's up!